It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize