well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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