I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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