I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
