Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
