Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize