And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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