Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
