so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
