I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
