what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
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I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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