Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
