they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
