Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize