You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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