Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i will never coherently bang her
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
