She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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