Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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