Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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