the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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