Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
