I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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