I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
