I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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