Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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