i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
