apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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