sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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