I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
