People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
