my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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