You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
