Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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