Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When are your genitals available?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
