miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
