I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
