It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize