I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
