If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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