Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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