You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
