That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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