I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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