Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Let's paint friendship bongs
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
