he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
