She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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