What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
