Can Purell be used as lube?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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