I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
