Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
