He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
