but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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