Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
