I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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