I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
