So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
