can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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