grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
