I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
