She's JV to your varsity
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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