i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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