two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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