Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
