I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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