Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
